Frustration should be a 4 letter word

I've had a bad week.  Not really with my eating or fitness even, just with simple frustration. 

On a couple of occasions, I just wanted to sit down and cry or throw my hands up and say, "f$#* it!" but I didn't. 

Why am I so frustrated?  For many reasons, most of them having to do with the stress of my biggest saboteur (my mother) coming to visit.  For those who know me, know that I don't have the best relationship with my mother.  I know that she did the best that she could raising my sister and I on her own but the hurt and lifelong wounds that she caused me are also something that I can't forget, although I have tried to forgive.  It always starts with the little comments when she sees what I make for dinner, the comments like "oh, it's nice to see that you're finally being a little more conscientious about what you're eating."  Seriously?  I told her that we are trying to improve our family's lifestyle etc... and she just started with her excuses, "oh, I wish we could eat whole grains but my husband can't now." and "I'm jealous that you can go out and run, I just can't do it because of my knees and feet".  I just wanted to slap her.  Frustration #1.

My other frustration came when I stepped on that scale for the 8 millionth time in the last month and didn't see it budge at all that week.  I know that I shouldn't be frustrated because I've seen a vast improvement in my overall fitness as well as my muscle tone, but those lingering emotional issues started to pop up in the back of my head as I looked at that stagnant number and that's when those tears wanted to flow.  I promised myself that I would not get discouraged and that I would roll with the punches, I even wrote that down as part of my lifelong goals.

I made two more promises to myself after my rollercoaster week, so that I can push through any future frustrating weeks:

1. To hide my scale and only weigh myself once a month (the only exception to this will be if I have personal training, and even then I will ask not to know what my weight is until my month is up).
2. To journal my food, again.  I've done this in the past but given up after a week or so, this time, I'm doing it indefinitely.  I will not allow myself to "see the end in sight" and give up.  If I still don't see results after my month of hiding my scale, then I will have Jo look over my journal and help me.

You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete. - Richard Buckminster Fuller