Death is too late for a wake up call

Do you ever feel like you just want to shake or slap someone?  Either for knowing it all or just being completely stupid?

I've had a week FULL of "I just want to slap you" moments.  Not all of them were bad, they were more tongue in cheek moments thinking people are know it alls but then some of them were those "I can't believe you actually just said that" moments.

I love the know it alls because although I think to myself that "I just want to slap you for being right all the time" they can actually encourage me to re-think my excuses and change even more.  Those are usually the people that I don't outright tell that I've considered slapping them.

On the other hand, there are the rest of the "I want to slap you" crowd, the ones that sometimes have a lapse in judgement and say something completely stupid or the ones that are just plagued by eternal stupidity.  An example of one of those, the friend that just complained about not having enough money for diapers & formula but just got new hair extensions.  Or my personal favourite from this past week, the friend that tries to encourage you to try her new diet with her, where she consumes only 700 calories/day and claims that the best part is that she doesn't even have to work out to lose weight, yet this same friend "blacked out" behind the wheel and was lucky enough to have only wound up in the ditch not dead with her babies in the vehicle with her. 

This particular friend I just wanted to slap (but I'd have to take a number because I'm sure there's a long line forming).  I just felt like saying "no shit Sherlock, of course you blacked out, your body needs 1200 calories to just function alone!"  I tried to warn her, hell I even tried guilting her as I'd heard Jo do by saying, "how do you think your kids are going to feel, when they can't wake you up in the morning?" but she still didn't get it.  The worst part of it all was that once she was checked out and her husband took her to get some lunch, she stopped at the pharmacy to grab some Ex-lax.  F*#$ing idiot!  I want to slap her, I want her to see that she's killing herself, I want her husband to take an interest and help her but no one seems to want to step in.

I've offered her moral support and motivation in a healthy lifestyle change but she just wants that quick fix.  I know that her quick fix is going to quickly land her in a grave but she doesn't seem to get it.  I think I'm just going to stick with what I'm doing, you know, the whole "slow & steady wins the race" idea; it's working for me.  I'm just saying.

I don't think I'll have to kill her. Just slap that pretty face into hamburger meat, that's all- Sterling Hayden

Don't Make Excuses, Make Good

Soooo, no one told me when I signed up for this life changing journey that it would become an addiction.  I truly don't remember that being part of the waiver that I signed when I signed up at JDFT.  I don't remember finding any fine print anywhere stating the possible side effects that I could suffer from withdrawl.  Maybe I'll sue lol, kidding!

We've been enjoying a fairly low key Family Day weekend.  I went out to JDFT girls night on Friday and had fun, rolled in at 3 am only to have Kenyon wake up exactly 10 minutes later puking (a horrible side effect from his new anti-seizure medicine).  My plan was to go to Hardcore (and Tom agreed to go with me) on Saturday morning but after being up until almost 5:30 am cleaning up puke and bathing Kenyon, I was just too bagged to go.  I was disappointed but moved on planning on getting a work out in that night. Well that night rolled around and I just couldn't do it (or so I let myself believe) I was too tired.  Now I know that if I had made myself do it, I would have felt better but I went to bed believing that it was just "too much work" to exercise.

Sunday morning rolled around and we decided to take the kids to Drumheller for the day, determined not to make any excuses, I packed a bag full of healthy snacks for us to eat on the drive and looked forward to spending the afternoon walking around the museum.  I was disappointed that I was going to miss the Get Fit Club meeting but family was more important and we basically needed 2 parents at all times to monitor my son whose medications were still working their way out of his system.    I knew that I'd feel good after spending a good couple of hours walking and we'd be home early enough that we could even get a workout in when we got home.  Well the afternoon didn't really go as I'd planned, we got to the museum and toured around there for all of an hour, 2 &4 year old boys don't quite have the attention span to look at anything for more than 30 seconds despite how "cool" & "amazing" it all was.  So after just a little more than an hour, we piled all 3 kids back into the van and drove some more.  By the time we got home, we'd driven almost 600 km, eaten out and had 3 kids who were more than ready for bed.  I did not workout and I went to bed feeling a little bitter.

Well good morning Monday, NOT!  I woke up not only with some sort of stomach bug that has not been pleasant to say the least, I woke up a total raving bitch!  Grouchy and emotional (and no it's not that time of the month) and the only real change from my normal routine is the lack of exercise.  The biggest kicker of it all is that, not only am I a raging bitch who's ready to tear pretty much anyone a new asshole which is multiplied tenfold if you're my husband, I actually CAN'T work out tonight because this stupid bug has convinced my ass not to cooperate.  I told my hubby that I was going to workout anyways but he felt the need to remind me of Jo's rule (apparently he does pay attention when he wants to hold something over me, douche): If fluids are coming out of either end, take a break.  Apparently cleaning up the shit from 2 kids in diapers is enough and he doesn't want to have to deal with me too.

I'm sitting here though feeling the itch, also feeling my stomach rumble & gurgle and make all sorts of other disgusting noises that I'm sure aren't normal but I want my fix!  I told my husband, "all I want to do is go to the damn gym but they're friggin closed and I'm friggin sick".  This is not a set back for me, just a major piss off.  I like, no, LOVE working out and exercising now.  I LOVE having my 4 year old son say to me, "mommy, let's go to the gym instead" every time I suggest we go pretty much anywhere.  I just wish that these damn bugs could stay the F*&# away from me so that I can keep doing what I love.  According to my husband, I'm sick because I want to workout even when I'm sick.  If I don't get my fix soon, look out world, MOMzilla will be on the prowl ready to roar and tear someone a new asshole.

Excuses are the nails used to build the house of failure. - Don Wilder

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.

JDFT is a prime example of something that has become irreplaceable in so many lives because it is so different.

Only at JDFT will you see or hear:

• Children running around in their pajamas
• A mom stop halfway through her workout to breastfeed
• The trainers work just as hard and usually harder than the members
• A group of women stop their workout to help someone who has never worked out before do her last burpee
• Someone start a sentence with "When I lived in Ecuador..."
• Someone do burpees and pushups until they can't walk and their arms hurt to touch
• Kids running around with and sometimes losing ham, yes like sandwich meat (random but not uncommon)
• The background story to each and every Bon Jovi song (if you care)
• That JDFT members are the mayors of several places around town because they're just that awesome
• Members band together to put on a VERY successful garage sale & silent auction in a week
• Trainers holding babies while moms workout (they just don't do diapers)
• Candid & VERY open conversations about pretty much anything
• Stripper Move Wednesdays
• Board games turn into full contact sports
• A nutrition class that talks just as much about "sexy time" as it does about actual nutrition
• Someone greet you by name every time you walk in
• Such a sense of community & team spirit
• Soooo many coffees brought to the trainers (and they have a coffee machine!)
• The trainer bring McDonalds to the gym & eat it in front of you while you workout
• The seemingly sweetest trainers laugh demonically when they tell you what you're going to do for your workout
• Animal yoga positions performed with sound effects
• Kids giving each other "tattoos" & also learning how to care for them
• Members do absolutely ANYTHING to help out whenever & however needed

These are just a few of the MANY reasons that I absolutely LOVE JDFT.  Thank you to Jo, Shannon & Amanda for all that you do in making the gym such an amazing place & somewhere for all of us to belong.

It's been 22 years of making records and I must have been to Japan 25 times or more. There's not too many things in the world I haven't seen.- Jon Bon Jovi

PS: I can think of one thing in particular that he hasn't seen ;)

Derailment

Wow what a week!  I thought for sure that I would get off track and I did, maybe it was because I anticipated it.  We had probably the busiest week in years this week between birthdays, parties, tests and doctor's appointments. 

I tried to plan ahead knowing how busy we were going to be by packing healthy snacks but let myself indulge when out with the ladies on Tuesday night. 

Then Wednesday was Kenyon's birthday and we had planned to go out for dinner so I knew that it wasn't going to be the best day food wise, however I didn't plan on eating the 2 Babycakes cupcakes for dessert... so the guilt set in. 

Thursday we headed off to Edmonton for Kenyon's tests at the Stollery Children's hospital and since I was still feeling guilty for indulging in the cupcakes the night before, I packed my purse full of healthy snacks again and water.  I did well, I ate those and had a relatively healthy lunch at the Pita Pit and was proud of our family as we took the stairs all day, and walked to get lunch. 

Friday was supposed to be a relaxing day but ended up getting filled with appointments and stress, and I did NOT eat enough.  I went to the gym on basically an empty tank (I shoved a piece of bread with almond butter and honey into my mouth on my way out the door) and had an impossible time trying to get everything that I needed to accomplished.  There was that little voice in the back of my head (and it sounded oddly like Jo's) telling me that I needed to eat more and that I shouldn't have worked out without the proper fuel.  I get it now!  No, SERIOUSLY, I get it, I have never felt like such crap after a workout and I'm actually thankful that Amanda gave us one hell of a workout to REALLY drill that message into me.

I thought for sure that I would get back on track yesterday and the day started off well.  I ate a good breakfast, went to the Get Fit Club Workout and then out to pick up Kenyon's birthday cake.  We had a very busy birthday party with 9 kids aged 2-5 bowling with a couple of babies crawling around and boy oh boy did I want a drink lol.  I didn't have a drink since I felt that I should at least appear to be responsible while caring for other people's kids but I did have a piece of that nasty, greasy pepperoni pizza that was offered by the bowling alley and I certainly had a piece of the super moist carrot cake with cream cheese frosting that my darling 4 year old boy specifically requested as his cake (almost as if he knew that it is my absolute favourite).  Wow!  I felt like shit... I can't even say crap because that is an understatement. 

Today, I tried to get back into the swing of things and it was rough, I still didn't eat enough but at least it was a better effort.  I still felt gross but I pushed myself to workout and make another healthy meal; I will NOT give up.

My goal for this upcoming week is to stay on track with my eating, and to not anticipate speed bumps or failures.  I will pack healthy snacks with me every time I go out to ensure that I have no room for excuses and not set myself up for failure.

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other - Walter Elliot

Calorie Whore

First off, thanks to whoever reported my blog as offensive and had my last post deleted... there was a warning and I guess I'll have to censor myself from now on... lmao not gonna happen.

So I'm struggling right now with the whole calorie intake thing.  It's driving me insane.  My goal this week is to accurately track my caloric intake instead of just estimating.  To help, I've actually started using the daily plate instead of just playing on it, to help me track everything and suffice it to say that it's driving me insane.  I entered in my food as I went throughout the day in hopes of keeping on track and being able to make up any extra (if any) before 9pm.  Could I do it?  Nope.

I thought I was doing really well with my day but I was still coming up short and I mean WAY short and then I threw in my work out and now I'm lacking (PS: I really don't think that the workout is accurately accounted for on there because I think it said I burned approx. 882 calories, which seems absurd so I'll have to keep playing around with that a little).  I was successful in getting my water in but that's nothing new since all I drink is water and lots of it.

I got to dinner last night and I was hungry so I had my dinner and waited a little while, was still hungry so I had an extra serving of protein.  Feeling guilty, I quickly jumped online to track it eventhough I was ashamed only to find that I'm still WAY under.  I went to the gym feeling guilty but knowing that my workout would make me feel better and it did.  I had to go grocery shopping after the gym so I didn't eat anything right away and by the time we were checking out I was starving again.  I threw the kid and groceries in the van and literally inhaled a granola bar because I was so hungry.  When we got home I put all of the groceries away and got little man off to bed and was STILL hungry.  I had some cheese, a couple of crackers and some grapes and half an hour later I was still hungry so I had a glass of water.  After my water my brain was telling me that I wanted more food and I just couldn't do it anymore, I was getting pissed off with all of the extra food (especially so late at night because I was tired, it was almost 9:30) so I just said screw it and went to bed.  I was lying in bed going through my day in my head thinking about all of the food that I had consumed and thought to myself, "Oh my God, I'm never going to get enough calories in, EVER!  Unless of course I become a calorie whore!"

So today's a new day and I'm going to work on pimping myself out to calorie Gods in hopes that I can come somewhere close to my goal.  We'll see how this goes, maybe by the next time I post, I'll be a calorie whore.

Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip. - Arnold H. Glasgow